However it happened, you can keep it together when everything seems to be going so wrong and you can emerge from difficult situations much kinder, wiser and stronger.

When things go wrong, remember that…

1) Everything is temporary, even this shitty feels.

2) Happiness is a result of your perspective in life, not what happens to you.

3) There are things, even those that seem small, that are going right in your life.

4) The people in your corner are rooting for you.

5) You ultimately choose how you react.

6) Your resilience in other tough situations made you get through.

7) Bad times don’t define you, but how you deal with it does.

8) Worrying, anger, complaining, denial or any of the infinite other ways we try to circumvent pain when things go wrong won’t change the situation.

9) Botox, Thermage and collagen are not covered by insurance.

10) Stressing about something you have no control over is like swimming against a strong current… it’s a waste of your energy and effort.

Do Not…

1) Panic or get too far ahead of yourself.

2) Go immediately to blame and criticism.

3) Lash out and say or do things you will regret later on.

4) Self-destruct or numb yourself.

5) Neglect your needs.

6) Ignore your intuition.

7) Focus on what should have been instead of what is.

8) Try to control what is out of your control.

9) Remind yourself of every other terrible thing that has ever happened to you.

10) Ask “what if” or “why me” without also reminding yourself of what’s possible and what makes you strong.

11) Focus on others’ opinions, because they’re a reflection of the speaker, not you.

12) Worry about who you are or are not impressing. Isolate.

Do…

1) Accept, accept, accept. Then adjust and roll with it.

2) Stick to the present. Rather than worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, focus on what is actually happening NOW and what is actually in your power to do NOW.

3) Focus on realistic expectations of yourself and the situation.

4) Differentiate what you can and cannot change.

5) Take one little step, then another. Even if they’re just baby steps, keep moving.

6) Rather than focusing on the worst case, think instead of what else is possible.

7) Look for the lesson. Challenging situations often teach us what we have left to learn.

8) Keep a positive attitude by remaining focused on solutions, skills, and strengths.

9) Start small. And slowly but surely expand.

10) Spend time with people who support and believe in you.

11) Appreciate the things going well, savor simple pleasures, and try to find the hidden gifts in the difficult times.

12) Take very good care of yourself.

13) Treat yourself with love and respect.

14) Rejuvenate rather than simply tuning out or unplugging.

15) Ask for help sooner rather than later.

16) Consult or get a second opinion from someone who knows better.

17) Take the steps you need to keep working toward what you want in life.

18) Sometimes, we are too close to a situation to see it for what it is. Try looking at the situation from someone else’s point of view.

19) Give it the test of time. Ask yourself if this will mean the same thing in one, five or ten years. Look at the situation as a relatively short segment in the timeline of your life.

20) Move your body. Get moving to discharge energy. Walk 10 minutes in any direction starting wherever you are then turn around. Dance. Stretch. Swim. Anything.

21) Laugh. Watch a comedy. Call up a bubbly friend. Consider the stand-up routine version of this situation.

22) Help someone else in need even in as little as listening to them exhale.

23) Write. Vent your frustrations about this situation, brainstorm strategies to get out of it, or write more about a positive time in your life.

24) Find a creative outlet or a therapeutic release.

25) Read and reread motivational, inspirational, or encouraging words from others.

26) Go outdoors and walk barefoot in the grass or the sand. Watch the sun rise or set. Listen to the birds. Take it all in to gain perspective.

27) Give yourself a minute to regroup. Assess damages, sort out what can and cannot be done, or just get out of the middle of the situation.

28) Choose one big goal to work on in order to make a lasting change.

29) Smile at yourself in the mirror. You’re doing your best so be proud of still being alive despite all the shit.

30) Pray or meditate. Your soul deserves it. 🙂