New Year. New Start.

Updated: Apr 5, 2020

I've always been a fan of New Year. It just feels great to be reminded of a much needed reboot especially if the year prior has been hard.

2019 was a challenge I didn't expect. I thought I'd have that perfect "happy ending"... live cancer-free forever, get discovered in Hollywood to be Brad Pitt's next leading lady, have Lancome give me a paid sponsorship for my social media and travel the world while eating exquisite cuisine just like what the late Anthony Bourdain did.

But what I'm learning is that life just can't be perfect and making it BIG doesn't happen in an instant (unless you wanna do something stupid or crazy online for the sake of being viral or you're born with a silver spoon!) and that timing is everything.

Okay, now I'm sounding bitter... AHEM... anyway...

As part of closing 2019 with gratitude and a smile, I'd like to share what my experiences in 2019 have reminded me about life that I'll be carrying over for 2020. Hoping some of these will give you a nudge one way or the other:

  • Uncertainty is always gonna be part of a cancer survivor's life. No one can really predict when all hell will break loose so we just have to live moment by moment and ENJOY while we're alive and functioning. And even without cancer, life is unpredictable anyway. Only God sees the big picture so we just gotta keep moving forward.

  • Aiming to be serene is a much better goal than to be "happy". I learned this from Andrea Bocelli's interview. He said that happiness is an intense feeling, therefore, it's fleeting. Whereas tranquility is a consistent and sustainable state of being. So reserve happiness for the GRAND events and let the feeling of serenity be your everyday goal.

  • People are naturally selfish. So it's up to you how far you'll let them push your envelope. I'm a very considerate, polite and accommodating person so this is a tough one for me to pull off. And this is what living in America is teaching me... to be assertive in protecting my space and setting boundaries.

  • Don't post on social media when you're taken over by your emotions. For a time, I've been using social media as a form of therapeutic release but I think I made certain posts that shooed people away because it's becoming way too intense. But then again, I'm just being real with my journey! I won't delete my previous posts as I'd love for people to see how I'm progressing so far. But I'm glad I'm learning and getting better at expressing my emotions online.

  • It's never too late to start a childhood dream. At 40 years old, I'm just about to pursue hosting, acting, commercial modeling and blogging here in America. It's definitely much more challenging having to compete with digital savvy millennials but I'm still here going for it anyway! So don't you dare listen to people who say you're too old to sing, dance, act and write. It's not about the age. It's about your dedication, persistence and consistency that'll get you there whether you're 14 or 40.

  • Say what's on your mind and don't leave the world guessing. As an English speaker as second language, I fall into the trap of being a passive Asian. But we must speak our truth. Otherwise, the world will eat us alive! America is all about expressing yourself and sharing your thoughts. So I'm working on it with the hopes to have my own global voice.

  • Stay curious. And I mean REALLY curious. Question everything about life. Ask lots of questions to the people you're trying to get to know. Don't assume you know it all because life is a never-ending series of practical exams. And if you close your mind, you miss out on the lessons that could help you grow and evolve.

  • Love and support yourself before you do it for others. I was spreading myself too thin this year on social media wanting to inspire the universe when my health wasn't in its best form and my finances are not yet stable. In return, I was operating from a place of lack instead of abundance. I'm realizing that self-love and selfishness are not the same. So no guilt feelings for taking care of yourself first. The world will eventually thank you for doing so because you're sharing, not needing.

  • Energy is contagious and one should be responsible for it. If I'm not feeling my best, I give a head's up to the people I will interact with so that they don't catch my negatrons. Unfortunately, other people aren't as aware. They go on spreading negativity unconsciously and whoever comes across them will just have to suck it up. So know thyself and do your best not to contaminate others if you're vibrating low.

  • I'm grateful to have God in my life. I've never been the preachy type because I believe that a relationship with one's Creator is relative and should be respected, but I don't know how I made it this far without my intimate prayers to God in my car as I drive to work or 3 hours to LA for an audition. I know that He always speaks in my heart to keep doing what I'm doing (even if at times, I feel like it doesn't make sense!) and that He's got my mission's back. So yes, THANK YOU GOD I SURVIVED 2019!!!

New year. New start. My blank 366-page book starts in 20 minutes and I'm so excited to keep sharing how beautiful and amazing it is to experience being alive! Have a bountiful and healthy 2020, my dear WINNERS! This is only the beginning. The rest is still unwritten.

Your Inspiration To Keep WINNING,

Jaymee :)

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