My Exciting Journey to TITAhood

Hello fellow Titas!

I'd like to officially welcome you to my exciting journey to TITAhood!!! Before hitting 40, I was feeling the blues thinking, "MY GAD HIGAD! I'm an oldie!" But after one last cry a la Brian McKnight the night before July 27, I finally arrived at the ACCEPTANCE train station.

And now, here I am... feeling super fresh as I embrace midlife with so much gratitude and optimism. Bakit nga ba nakakalungkot isipin ang pagtanda? For me, it reminds me that I'm not gonna be young forever pala. That eventually, strength and beauty will fade which is hard for me to fathom since I've always been strong and attractive in my younger years. But I'm learning that as the looks and strength eventually fade comes the wisdom and tranquility of maturity.

Ay teka, masyado naman ata akong naging serious agad. Siri...! Ay Mali, Alexa... please change the vibe!!!

Anyhow, if you've known me from before pa, did you notice that I became myself again since I became 40? I sound like the girl that you watched before at "Games Up Late Live" but just a mature version! I guess that's the beauty of aging... you go back to your roots and your truest self starts emerging.

I admit... parang na-lost ako in my 30s. After traveling the world for 10 years and immersing with so many different cultures, I got mixed up with my identity. Parang nawala ang pagka-Pinay ko dahil sa dami ng foreigners na kailangan ko pakisamahan para lang maka-survive. 

And the cancer story? OMG. It made the identity crisis WORSE. It's not that I'm ashamed but I really wanted to get the cancer label out of me as soon as possible so I was doing all these crazy experiments on social media just so people will associate me with something else. But all my attempts didn't work because it was too soon to let go.

Looking back, I feel a little guilty rushing the process. And I know I lost some following from it because para bang di ko tanggap na nagkasakit ako and I'm radiating that inis on social media. Oh well papel. Live and learn ika-nga. It was just a really dark period of my life that I'd like to put behind me na. Life is too beautiful so it's time to move forward. Sorry po if I offended some for letting my nega emotions take over me.

And nagpaka-Americanize din ako since I'm here in San Diego. I was attempting to copy American influencers aiming for a global market when the truth is, I don't feel like myself during the process. Parang hindi na ako si Jaymee. And morphing myself as an American made me feel so disconnected and lonely.

So now, lesson learned. I may be immersed all my life with the American culture and the world is always enamored to achieve success in the US but the reality is I'm not American. I'm Filipina and it will always be my core. Kung mangyari ang American Dream, ayos. If not, KEBS. At least I'm being ME deva??? Oras na para magpakatotoo.

With that being said, this is it WINNERS! The turbulent thirties is over. Give way to your crazy cool Tita Jaymee as she takes on midlife with a sweet vengeance! So excited to share my tita escapades to you all and keep enjoying life like an aunt rockstar. Let’s bring out the red wine and dance to Hagibis in the background! Time space warp... NGAYON DIN! :)

Maasim Pa Sa Sinigang,

Your Tita Jaymee

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